Sometimes in the middle of a tough economic time, we can forget that others are also struggling to weather the storm. This is, of course, understandable, but we should, nonetheless, take a moment occasionally to recognize the shared difficulty.
One lesser known group that has suffered from The Great Recession is James Bond Villains (along with other super criminal masterminds). Just a couple of days ago, the Associated Press reported the closing of a secret underwater lab owned and operated by a consortium of Bond villains led by none other than Sean Bean.
The lab will soon lose its $3 million government funding and will no longer be able to stay open unless private funding steps in.
I know what you’re thinking - these are bond villains, which means lots of money and evil plots that can be used to raise private funds. However, it is not that simple
Most bond villains have financial portfolios that are very focused on capital investments like infrastructure, laser beams, robots, sun blockers, etc. What this means is that they are a VERY illiquid group and given that most of those projects are jointly owned with trust fund and sovereign wealth fund investors, they cannot unilaterally liquify the assets. Furthermore, even if they could, they would take large losses because none of the projects have been completed - they’re all still experimental. In some ways they are like pharmaceutical companies who invest huge amounts in research and development with the hope that one or two products out of dozens (or even hundreds) will be successful and make up the losses in the unsuccessful products - just replace prescription drugs with master plans to hold the world ransom.
The other reason for their financing troubles is that they simply cannot get a private bank loan. Turns out that the capital reserve requirements and loan issuance standards (evil plot loans are considered risky products) have come almost exclusively at the expense of Bond Villains and their once thriving industry. Despite their long track record of fully repaying loans and their excellent credit scores, Bond villains have become completely subject to the actions of investment bankers. In other words, investment bankers are calling the shots for evil Bond villains telling them what they can and can’t do and what secret lairs they can and can’t use.
Its a shame that the US Federal Government must cut the $3 million of funding for the underwater sea lab somewhere off the cost of Florida - the Bond Villains could really use the government support at the moment.
By the way, just an FYI - $3 million equals 0.00007903% of the US $3.796 trillion total expenditures in 2012.